Before I knew
I thought the headaches were migraines.
I was living in Miami. I had massive headaches, fuzzy vision, and felt limited in ways I could not explain. I do not know how much was my personality, how much was the tumor affecting me, and how much changed because I later came close to losing everything. I only know that I feel completely different now.
Eventually my vision was so fuzzy that I thought I needed new glasses. The woman examining my eyes saw something alarming and told me to go to the emergency room immediately.
The eye exam
Then they found a brain tumor.
I later learned that the exam had revealed papilledema: optic-disc swelling associated with increased pressure inside the skull. In my case, the tumor was obstructing the normal movement of brain fluid.
That eye examination may have saved my life.
“Why the fuck would my life be over now? I was 26. I had not done anything.”
Mercy Hospital → University of Miami
Twelve days in the hospital. Four procedures, as I remember them.
- An external shuntA temporary tube drained excess cerebrospinal fluid. I knew not to touch it.
- An angiogramMy understanding is that it helped the surgical team study blood flow and prepare.
- The brain-tumor surgeryI was told it took approximately six hours. In my experience, it felt like five minutes.
- A permanent shuntMy fluid still was not draining normally, so a permanent tube was placed. I still have it.
Coming home
Recovery was not an inspirational montage.
My family came from Puerto Rico to Miami because the situation was serious. I could barely walk normally. My balance had been severely affected, and I used a walker—the kind I associated with an old person, except I was 26.
My mind was working, but I felt locked inside my body. Recovery was slow, frustrating, and traumatic. I would never wish it on anyone.
Almost exactly a year later, I felt a sudden burst of motivation. I knew I was not willing to return to a mediocre life.
“I am never living through something like this and then going back to the same life.”
